Im at strip club and am horny
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
