Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
