Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
