so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
