dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
