next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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