Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
