If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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