Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Panties = found
Randomize
