yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
