Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
