He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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