nut hugger
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
