you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my being single is dangerous.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
