I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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