I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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