Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
