Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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