No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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