obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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