Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
