I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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