i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
