i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
