I seem to have left my pride at pride
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
