I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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