It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
