he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
