you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
