my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
