ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
