Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize