What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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