she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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