Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I want to be your penis for a week.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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