She just used a chaser for red wine.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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