At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
