Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize