so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
