Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
