Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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