Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you didnt know i had herpes?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
