I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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