i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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