This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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