it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
