Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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