just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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