Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
