I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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