brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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